Summary
Miss Crow only wanted to do something in a modest way to save trees, proposing that everyone get only "one square" of toilet paper per visit to "the ladies" (and presumably "the gents" as well). But now the greenies, determined to inflict on us lives that only serfs could endure, have something else afoot. The National Resources Defence Council, one of those laptop-and-a-fax machine think tanks that keep Senior Fellows, Assistant Deputy Scholars and Adjunct Professors more or less employed and off welfare, has studied the prospective causes of the end of civilization as we know it and found a villain more dreadful than "gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions."
The council's learned scholars found that the fundamental cause of mischief and grief afflicting mankind is the delicate American buttock. The American insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi- ply toilet paper is denuding virgin forests and making wimps, wussies and weaklings of all of us. Sheryl Crow warned us, stopping just short of singing an original ballad about the perils in the possibilities of "going to the bathroom."See the full content of this document
Extract
Back to a Future Fit for a Serf
"This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous," says Allen Hershkowitz, a "senio...
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